she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
