I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
