Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize