A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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