I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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