the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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