You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
