Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
