We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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