I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
