Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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