My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
