You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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