Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
