After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize