i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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