Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My dick has a subreddit
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
