So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I think people are normalizing furries
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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