For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
