i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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