How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
