theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
