I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Girls should come with a carfax report
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
