Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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