we're blogging at a bar
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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