And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
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