I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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