Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
