I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
