Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
