break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
