Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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