im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
