i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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