She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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