don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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