I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
