Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
