During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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