Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize