we're blogging at a bar
are you still at the devil's house?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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