very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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