She's like a pop up book from hell.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
