I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You don't make any sense
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