Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
