We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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