what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
