A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
