lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
