Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
