Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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