That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
