So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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