What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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