If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
