I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
