toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
