I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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