I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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