i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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