I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize