Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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