that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
